My FEAR: Finding Evolution and Resolution


By Jatika H.. Patterson

Fear is an emotion that we grapple with in one way or another. I think of the words of grandmother that “God does not issue fear” but somehow, it slithers its way into our hearts, minds and lives. Mostly against our will.

My fears have hovered around the desire to be the best I can be. I have insecurities (another word for fear) about how to use my passion / skill. Will I be skewered for not being good enough? How will I live up to what they expect? So-and-so is doing to great! How can I get to their level? I had to learn to stop with these asinine questions and get on with honing my skill and making the most of life and what I had of it. I was too busy concentrating on why not me and I turned my eyes to “this journey is tailor made for me.”

Every time an editor tells me that they need a rewrite, a small edit, a fact check, I’ve learned not to take it personally. Yes, it still causes a little twitch of nervousness, but not the panic that used to occupy the first glance of an email from my editors. I’ve learned that this process is growth and development from the most High. I’m being groomed for next steps. There is absolutely no room or acceptance of fear.

If this means that I must face a “failure” then so be it. I take those moments as lessons and when it transforms into a lesson, the words “fear” and “failure” are removed from the equation.

Every step, setback, advance, drawback, success has been a part of the ultimate plan. The plan to build me into the woman that I have become. One who still has fears but who knows how to pick up the fight and keep pushing through obstacles.

That’s the main moral of this story, keep moving. Keep trying. Keep fighting. Keep “fear” at bay. After all, God does NOT issue fear.